Now that I've got everything ready to start posting my thoughts publicly even though I don't have an audience here, I feel weird. It's like the first time I was going to post something on metroflog.
I feel like I'm in a space where I can be, but I don't feel the need to do it. I don't know if that's good. I just feel like writing what I want to write isn't worth the effort or the pain itself. I feel trapped in this kind of spiral that leaves me researching and implementing things that you can't see.
For example, this Secret Santa: my friend has problems with a ERR_CERT_VERIFIER_CHANGED, but it seems like it's just a browser problem. Still, why is that problem? I dig into it, swim through hypotheses for hours and end up with nothing to give as a solution… not even words. In this society that imagines talking is cheap, that everyone should do it whenever and however they want, words seem to have no weight for those who truly understand them.
In general, I feel compelled to do nothing. Maybe I should have therapy before I go through all this year-end trembling of things to do. Things that, by the way, matter little or nothing to me. I just want to see the people around me eat, not be alone, if that's what they prefer. That's what I want for Christmas.